“Underneath all the distress, partners are asking each other: Are you there for me? Will you respond to me when I need you? Do I matter to you? Do you need me?” Sue Johnson
Most people crave healthy, loving relationships; but amid the hectic schedules and heavy demands of today’s world, many couples find it hard to maintain the closeness they felt during the earlier stages of their relationships. As Esther Perel describes it, “Today, we turn to one person to provide what an entire village once did: a sense of grounding, meaning, and continuity. At the same time, we expect our committed relationships to be romantic as well as emotionally and sexually fulfilling. Is it any wonder that so many relationships crumble under the weight of it all?”
In a troubled relationship, distressed couples may feel stuck in negative cycles that they cannot untangle on their own. Frequently, partners feel criticized, attacked, or rejected and attack back or retreat into themselves. As these cycles continue, couples often end up feeling far apart from one another and very lonely.
All relationships have ups and downs; frequent arguments or difficult times do not necessarily mean that your relationship is over. Couples therapy aims to improve feelings of safety between partners so that they can once again turn to their partner for strength and support. Therapy sessions are designed to help couples learn to communicate more effectively, understand themselves and their partner better, learn how to create deeper intimacy, and refuel their desire towards each other.